Balancing the Act of Believing in Yourself
Recently I’ve been trying to figure out how launching a blog fits into our crazy little life right now, and honestly, right now, right this moment It doesn’t seem to. I know it helps to look at the big picture, taking a long shot view of our lives will always put things into perspective. But even our big picture has a lot going on in it. We are trying to balance being new parents, working professionally together and finding the time to love on each other in the midst of our daily super long to do list that has become our everyday routine.
And what about my own individual goals? What about the other half of my dreams? I've always wanted to run a blog because well, I've got some things to tell the world. Not to mention I love the creative process and so thoroughly enjoy having one place to go to where I can look at my life again with a different lens every time. How do I fit that in there without skimming on the family? What about if I was to be a business owner too and get my masters and be a mother and a wife and oh run a blog for fun? I always told myself that I could have it all if I worked hard enough…ha! obviously, I didn’t know what I was talking about and I wish I could just shake my obnoxious old self and tell her to just shut it all the way down. Being a momma and wife is like an actual FULL-time job, I mean all the moms I knew said it…but I didn’t actually think about how complex and consuming (and fulfilling!) just being a wife and mother would be. How does everyone make it look effortless?! I want what you’re drinking…no, really.
I guess the question that's been looming over my thoughts these days is, how do I prioritize my family without abandoning who I am and who I can be? I know I’m not the only woman on this planet that asks herself these questions everyday so my goal was to find an answer. It's not perfect, but this is what I think:
The beauty about life is that there is a kind of perfection in the unbalancing. A sublime completion, wholeness, a fullness if you’d like to call it. There is purpose in the “becoming” and for this, you have to transcend simple superficial ideals. You kind of need to seek out the journey, not the end, not the beginning, but the middle awkward bits. The parts that are slightly uncomfortable and unrelenting. Belief in one’s self requires that. Because what happens when we have a completely “balanced life,” a life in which we are always waiting and saving and hoping is that we lose out on living. We spend our lives hoping that the right opportunity will come around, or waiting for the things to settle down before we start to exist as we ought to. But isn’t that absurd? Almost…(dare I say it) foolish that we wait so long to live? And I’ve heard that before so many times, but it’s different when you come to that conclusion on your own, I think.
We are constantly juggling school and work and kids and spouses and health and creativity (or the lack of it)…and oh a social life and that won’t change. That’s where we get to show up and give ourselves to the task. When you think about it your life never really succumbs to chaos does it? It revolves around it and we know that but somehow we constantly try to balance it out. What if it doesn’t need balancing just right there and then? Life is in the living. Believing in yourself to start the blog, or journal or start a business is exactly what you need for your already crazy life because it may not be a walk in the park but it sure is a moment in your journey where you allow yourself to be tested and renewed.
It may be something you’ve always loved to do…like starting a silly little just for fun blog…or it may be a challenge you’ve always wanted to accomplish like getting a degree. Whatever it is, it is worth your time and your effort. Start small, do your research, make a plan and hold on to the dream regardless of how ridiculous it is because that is what will keep you going when your life is crazy and you’re juggling your silly-little-for-fun blog and wondering why you even started it all. I urge you to ask yourself the same questions and make time to do the things that make you happy, those things are just as important as everything and everyone else :)